Lifelong Troubles

Hi there my dearest honey! How was ur festival and papers?I hope the fest was fun and pleasant!I want to share some very important secrets with you, and it might mae us closer to each other or kick back apart, to more moderate relations. I hope u will understand my inner conflicts even if u have a different mentality oа Dutch citizen.I envy you in ur free space. U live alone, u do what u want to do, u communicate with whom you want, and the fact that you dont have a big family with grandparents -is a great advantage over me. I really envy you that way. Coz the life with them for me is hell, and they kill me in every possible way. I got some nerves problems, headaches and so forth due to all the conflicts and complicated interaction.Well they seem to cae only about themselves, only about their needs and everyone around in the family must obey the rules. Otherwise they say i dont respect them, get angry with every possible tiny thing, am ungrateful and dont do anything about the house, dont bow my head when i see them , to say it literally. They dont like my bf coz he's young and dont have much money to offer me, he doesnt do anything about the house, dont buy things, dont bow in the same way, lure and or is hypocritical for the sake of good attitude. They thinnk he owes them every time they ask him smth. They act like bastards and morons, and always say that i'm wrong or stupid, have wrong tastes and desires, they dont appriciate anything i do, coz i only get the criticizm in my face and no "sorry" or "thx" for anything significant. As if i also owe to do smth for them always and ever.So this is the problem actually, but i cant run, i dont have means but many possible places. My salary doesnt even allow me to get a little place for myself, no flat for such low salary, if i go now, i will have to return poor and begging, i dont want that/ Sorry if i troubled you with that stuff